Exploring Gender Diversity and Sexuality in the Autism Community

Overview: This article explores the differences in gender identity and sexuality in the autistic community, and how those factors can be supported after an autism diagnosis. 



*Please note that this article uses the terms AFAB and AMAB (assigned female or male at birth) to describe how an individual was labeled at birth, but that same gender may not represent their current identity. Like all my articles, this is not meant to capture all autistic experiences, rather to share about general trends in the autistic community. *

Gender Identity

People on the autism spectrum are more likely to identify as gender diverse – that is trans, non-binary, gender-expansive, or agender – than people who are not on the autism spectrum. In fact, research has suggested that the rates of gender diversity among autistic individuals is 5 to 7 times greater than that of non-autistic individuals (Janssen et al., 2016; Mat et al., 2017). The significant difference in gender diversity, like much of our understanding of autism, is likely due to a multitude of competing factors.

One long standing theory about increased gender-diversity in the autistic community was developed by Sir Simon Baron-Cohen in 2002 when he posited that autistic people have an “extreme male brain.” This antiquated sounding theory suggests that the “male” brain is more neurologically oriented toward systematic processing and less adept at activities like social interaction and experiencing empathy. That neurological structure may, in-and-of-itself, lead to more gender diversity. It may also mean that autistic people are more implicitly aware of the many other potential gender categories besides the male-female binary so widely accepted in the world (Kung, 2020). This theory is a unique example of how the condition of autism allows for more flexibility and nuance than is typical for people who are not on the autism spectrum. It also may contribute to the higher prevalence of gender diversity in the autism community.

People on the autism spectrum often approach gender in a different way than the rest of the population. Autistic AFABs are more likely to be comfortable with being a “tomboy” than their non-autistic peers (Dewinter et al., 2017), and autistic people are generally less likely to consider gender as a primary part of their identity (Cooper et al., 2018). Understandably, the relegation of gender to a smaller part of one’s identity may lead to more comfort with moving outside of the male-female binary. Being more likely to identify as gender-diverse occurs outside of the autistic community, with individuals who are non-autistic but score high on autistic trait scales like social difficulty, intense use of systems, and sensory sensitivity (Warrier et al., 2020). This research suggests that autism symptoms contribute in some manner to increased gender diversity.

Another theory attempting to explain why autistic people experience more gender diversity is that autistics have inherently weakened sex differences – that is, they seldom score as overly masculine or overly feminine in general (Vermaat et al., 2018). If gender is a spectrum with traditional femininity on one end and traditional masculinity on the other, then most autistic people are going to score somewhere in the middle. In fact, that is the exact result found by researchers Kallitsounaki and Williams (2020) in a study about how autistic individuals relate to stereotypical gender norms. Autistic AMABs were more feminine than average and autistic AFABs were more masculine than average. While the causes of these patterns are up for debate, the results seem to be consistent across cultures and socioeconomic statuses.

A final theory for increased gender diversity in the autism community focuses on social awareness. It is well established that autistic people are less adept at reading social cues and responding to social expectations. Kallitsounaki et al. (2018) suggests that this lack of social awareness allows autistic people to be more comfortable with gender-diversity, and more immune to societal prejudice than the average person who may question their gender. Other research has gone even further and suggested that autistic people may even be more comfortable actively resisting social norms and embracing gender diversity than their non-autistic peers (Walsh et al., 2018). If accurate, this may be yet another example of autistic people experiencing more open mindedness and flexibility than non-autistic people. 


Sex and Sexuality

Few things in society are as nuanced and complicated as sex and sexuality – a fact of life that seems even more true for autistic people. Sexuality – the manner in which an individual experiences and expresses sexual desires – is similar to gender in that it is increasingly fluid and ill-defined. As with gender identity, autistic people tend to be more open to expressing sexual preferences that differ from the cultural norm. Unfortunately, due to the deficits in processing social interactions, autistic individuals can also be more vulnerable to sexual exploitation.

One form of sexuality that occurs at higher rates in the autism population is “asexuality” – the diminished or complete absence of sexual desire. This trend has been shown in multiple well-regarded studies, including a recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior by Attanasio et al. (2022). It is difficult to disentangle the root of these elevated rates of asexuality, but poor communication and relationship building skills may be contributing to autistic individuals self-identifying as “asexual” out of discomfort with sex and relationships in general. Autistic people may also just be more open about their asexuality than their non-autistic peers. This would imply that asexuality rates are not necessarily higher in the autistic population, but that the stress of romance may be pushing individuals to identify as asexual as a form of self-protection. Regardless of their sexual identity, people with autism are significantly less likely to be in a relationship than their non-asd peers (Bush, 2021). Being in a relationship is a protective factor against a whole host of mental and physical health issues, making this yet another reason why assistance with communication, emotion regulation, and relationship building skills is beneficial for autistic individuals.

For autistic individuals that are comfortable with sex and romantic relationships, there is more variation in stated sexual preferences when compared to the non-autistic community. Fernandes et al., (2016) showed that autistic individuals, especially autistic females, are significantly more likely to identify as non-heterosexual (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and other sexual identities). It may be that, similar to their resistance to the gender binary, people on the autism spectrum are more comfortable shirking overly simplistic hetero-normative expectations. Regardless of the underlying cause, every autistic individual deserves to feel safe navigating and enjoying sexual experiences.

Unfortunately, the combination of poor social skills, limited awareness of social norms, and insufficient sexual education can be especially dangerous for autistic individuals. Research has shown that autistic people are at increased risk for sexual exploitation and victimization because of their potential ignorance of privacy expectations (Ginerva et al., 2016), and because of their delays in social skill development (Brown-Lavoie, 2014). Autistic people may be more willing to share vulnerable photos of themselves with strangers and may be more trusting of strangers seeking sexual encounters. Pecora et al., (2021) found that people with autism are also at greater risk of engaging in dangerous sexual encounters than their non-asd peers. These factors further demonstrate the importance of teaching comprehensive sexual education, along with privacy, and internet safety lessons to everyone, especially the autistic community.

Conclusion

People on the autism spectrum are less likely to be stuck in the gender and sexuality binaries that are ubiquitous in modern society. This fluidity can result in challenges for some people; however, when combined with healthy living and stable relationships, it is yet another way that autistic people contribute to the diversity and beauty of their communities.

References

Attanasio, M.; Masedu, F.; Quattrini, F.; Pino, M.C.; Vagnetti, R.; Valenti, M.; Mazza, M. (2022). Are Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asexuality Connected? Arch. Sex Behav., 51, 2091–2115.

Baron-Cohen, S. (2002). The extreme male brain theory of autism. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 6(6), 248–254.

Brown-Lavoie, S.M.; Viecili, M.A.; Weiss, J.A. (2014). Sexual Knowledge and Victimisation in adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders. J. Autism Develop. Dis.

Bush, H.H.; Williams, L.W.; Mendes, E. (2021). Brief Report: Asexuality and Young Women on the Autism Spectrum. J. Autism Dev. Disord. 51, 725–733.

Cooper, K., Smith, L. G., & Russell, A. J. (2018). Gender identity in autism: Sex differences in social affiliation with gender groups. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(12), 3995–4006.

Dewinter J, De Graaf H, Begeer S. (2017). Sexual orientation, gender identity, and romantic relationships in adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorder. J Autism Dev Disord. 47(9):2927–2934.

Fernandes, L.C.; Gillberg, C.I.; Cederlund, M.; Hagberg, B.; Gillberg, C.; Billstedt, E. (2016). Aspects of sexuality in adolescents and adults diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders in childhood. J. Aut. Dev. Dis., 46, 3155–3165.

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Walsh, R. J., Krabbendam, L., Dewinter, J., & Begeer, S. (2018). Brief report: Gender identity differences in autistic adults: Associations with perceptual and socio-cognitive profiles. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(12), 4070–4078.